My Blog Could Beat Up Your Blog!

Yeah, that's right. He said it. What's more is that he meant it. You might be wondering to yourself, "Well, how could this be? I swear my blog is better than his!" The fact of the matter, however, is that you are wrong. This is confirmed in recently conducted Gallup Polls.

In the most recent poll "Whose Blog Could Beat Up Whose?"(February 2009), 98% of those who were polled said that my blog could beat up your blog. The other 2% were biased and angry because my blog had beat them up. Other scientific studies indicate like results. In one recent study conducted by Dr. Brad G. Spitzer and associates, a random sample of blogs were selected from all around the world. After months of testing and analysis, they concluded with 0% error that my blog was "incredibly and ferociously prone to beating up [any]one's blog..." (p. 39).

All these stats might seem scary and/or what not to you, but fear not. It's truly a peaceful blog. In fact, it has actually never beat up any blogs to date. "You know, there's really no need to go around proving something that everybody already knows is true. I strive to use my powers and talents for good; not to the detriment of those around me," said Jordan's blog on ROFLMAO MEMOIRS.

There is much we can learn from such a powerful and benevolent blog. "I learn and relearn from my blog everyday," says the blogs author Jordan, "I learn how make whatever it wants to eat and relearn how to say 'yes sir' in response to everything it says." For starters as the general public, we can learn how to be more powerful and benevolent. Not too powerful or benevolent, however.

THIS JUST IN! The Nobel Peace Prize has just been awarded to Jordan's blog for being more benevolent than yours! Stayed tuned. The weather is next.