Once upon a time, there was a 7th grader who was obsessed with chicken. This 7th grader had am obsessive history. He was known to make up words and phrases like "zoon... zinkeen bam" and "blah ja." He developed antics that would sometimes last for years. Relentlessly exploiting the annoyances of others and using them as tools of torture in his conquest to rule the world, he started with his dog, Tazzman. Whiskers were his thing... it made him yawn with unnervedness. He loved his dog.
This 7th grader woke up one morning and decided that he was going to be a 9th grader. Now a 9th grader, he took his knowledge of language and corrupted all that was therein good. First, he added an N to words and their syllabic rhythms that weren't supposed to be there. Second, that's it. That's all he did.
The concept is easy, really. Try it! Instead of saying, "Please pass the butter peas please," say, "pleaNse paNss theN buNtterN peaNs pleaNse." Some say it sounds like the Indian lady on Dances With Wolves (starring the greatest Nebraskian actor of all time, Kevin Costner). They're wrong. Absolutely wrong. It sounds nothing like that.
Here it is phonetically, "pleenz pants thun peenz pleenz."
"It works. It's hilarious. It's the creation of a genius mind!" said the 9th grader. So he started talking like this to his mother, sister, dad, dog, and friends. One of his friends took it to the limit with him. They lived on happy beaches.
One day, they were skippin’ home from school. They were talnking theirn newn languange, but then they got lazy. Their words started to slur together just like you can contract "do you know what I am saying?" into "'y'om sayin'?"
Just before they reached the rainbow tree, they got into a fight and punched each other. The 9th grader got so mad that he called upon his magic caterpillar to wrap his friend up in a cocoon of wrath. So he did. His friend was so mad that he pulled out his pocket knife and cut the cocoon apart.
He then said to the 9th grader, "In hante youn!"
His friend replied, "Non! Youn shunt unp!"
The 9th grader would have none of this, "Non! Youn shunt unp!"
And so it went on...
"Non! Youn shunt unp!"
"Non! Youn shunt unp!"
"Non! Youn shunt unp!"
"Non! Youn shunt unp!"
And then they got lazy...
"Youn shunt unp!"
"Youn shunt unp!"
"Youn shunt unp!"
"Youn shunt unp!"
"Youn shunt unp!"
And then they got lazier...
"Shunt unp!"
"Shunt unp!"
"Shunt unp!"
"Shunt unp!"
And lazier...
"Shhun unp!"
"Shhun unp!"
"Shhun unp!"
Lazier...
"Shhu unp!"
"Shhu unp!"
"Shhu unp!"
L-A-Z-R
"Shhuunp!"
"Shhuunp!"
"Shhuunp!"
"Shhuunp!"
LZR...
"Shunp!"
"Shunp!"
"Shunp!"
"Shunp!"
"Shunp!"
UNTIL...
"ShuMp!"
Then they lolololol-ed all the way home.
THEn End (pincey fince)
8 comments:
That's awesome! New word in the dictionary, check!
"We can get alot done today if you do just one thing, Shump."
"Excuse me sir, did you just tell us to, Shump?"
"I sure did and I'd appreciate it if you would Shump right now, we have alot to do."
"This is a highly irregular management tactic, I'm not sure what you expect us to do."
"It's quite simple, I stand here and talk, and all you have to do is Shump."
"But sir I don..."
"SHUMP, SHUMP, SHUMP, SHUMP, SHUMP SHUMP SHUMP!"
"?..."
"Okay, now that you've Shumped, as you can see on this graph in the third quarter of last year..."
(excerpt taken from the book, Management and the Art of Shump)
Incredible storyn Jorn. I lonved int. I can't waint to seen youn!! Did you get Carter's pincturen?
So . . . I get a text today from Sarah and she tells me, "Shump." Amazingly enough, I understood her. A special gift I have, I guess. Now, I know you are saying, "Shump, youn dindn't." But it is true. I never would have dreamed it originated with you. I figured she made it up. :)
Oh, and in case you were wondering, yes, she is a princess and I can't wait to have her home, if only for a day.
Love ya!!
Love it Jordan. I always knew I raised a genius. I love you and can't wait for you to come home. I would have added an "n" but where it the world do I insert them?
I have heard tales of the greatness of the ROFLMAO Memoirs and now I too can attest the same, yea verily.
SHUMP JORN!!!
In Linked yourn blong abount thins stonrnyn. In find int surnprinsinglyn ancurnante. In counldnt hanve tonld int anyn benttern mynselnf pleanse! Thank youn!
Hahahaahaahaha!! I had no idea I owed all the fun "N" times to your 9th grade self. Nadge Bedge musta got itfrom you, and on to me. I do vaguely remember her giving you credit.
I love the N language. Has been a fav of mine. I am veryn fluent. Thanks fon manking int unp. You have quite the following!
Me and my friend Jeff made up one that I think is fun. Quite simple as well. all ya do is start evert word with an "F". "Good luck" is a fun phrase to say in that language....
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