There, Mount Foliage! Arne Youn Hanppyn?!?

Sometimes your friends make you do things that you don't really want to do. Then again, sometimes your friends make you do things that you would've regretted not doing. This instance I'm about to tell you about just so happens to be both. I was sitting at work one day, talking to my friend on Google chat. It was good times. Anyway, I then decided that I had to go do some work because when I'm at work, that's probably what I should be doing. When I returned to my work station, I realized that my best friend had pressured me into doing something that I really had no intention of doing for like another 8 years. HE MADE ME WRITE ON MY BLOG! YOU BIG JERKL!

Anyway, now that I'm here, I guess I'd better write something, huh? Well, mister smarty pants... what would you like me to say? Would do you want me to talk about? Huh? HUH?!? Yeah, that's what I thought. You don't even curr, do you? Well, fine. Then I'm just going to talk about whatever I dang well pleenz.

This is finals week. I'm just about done. In fact, I just took a test in my persuasion class today. I feel like it went alright. You know... I'm trying to live by that philosophy "hope for the best; expect the worst." It seems to be working out well. Everything is much better since I've started something I did regularly before finals started... SLEEP. Yeah, there was a period there when I got a toal of 13 hours for three nights. Needless to say, it S-U-C-K-E-D SUCKED. I would be a good cheerleader. I fit at least 2 of the three qualifications:

1. I can count loudly to an audience

2. I have a decent sense of rhythm

3. I'm great at massacring dances

Furthermore, I think insomnia would be the worst condition to have. Good heavens. This is not how I've always been, however. Yes, that's right. Once upon a time I held the position that sleep was for the utmost, non-DEW-drinking pansies. I strived to deprive myself of this weak "necessity" known as "sleep." All-nighters were a regular occurrence for me. Midnight TB runs, likewise. Indeed, I was once a dark warrior of the night, but then it happened--the day none of us ever expect will come. I got tired. That's right! I got tired, and I didn't know what to do about it. I searched incessantly for a cure to this madness... something, ANYTHING that would offer me sweet repose from the tension behind my eyes (it felt like my optical nerves were being tugged at, like the reigns of a miniature demon whore teamster). Then I found it. The cure. No, not the band, although I did find them, too. The cure to my tiredness. You wanna know what it schwas? Well, I'ma tell you what it schwas. I'ma tell you what it schwas before you can say poopty pyoopty paynts! The cure was SLEEP! Yeah, go figure. A full 8 hours (or so) of sleep did the trick! Wow, I'm retarded.

But doesn't that make you just as much so? You know, for reading all of this? Or does it mean you're less so because besides writing it, I actually went back and proofread it? I don't know. In fact, I don't know much. What I do know, though, is that school is pretty much done and through and over with. That I can do.

The Man-Chin?

I need your opinion... is this the Capitol Man-Chin?

Why would you say yes or no?

Skool ROX!

Have you ever been sitting around? What about this one... have you ever been sitting around doing nothing? Good. Now try this on for size... have you ever been sitting around doing nothing and then it hit you like a ton of bricks that you were destined to major in communications with an emphasis in argument and decision making and a minor in French from the University of Utah? No? Well, I HAVE!

Yeah, I can't tell you how much more meaningful life has become now that I am studying things that I am passionate about. It's freakin' awesome!

Furthermore, David Hopkins and I are heading to California tomorrow in order to talk with some council executives (potential clients of Camp Works) about turning around some of their camps. The first camp we'll be discussing is Lost Valley. I'm r8 excited about it, even though I'm going to have to miss some school for it. So yeah... can anyone say ROAD TRIP?!?! The second camp we'll be talking about is Mataguay. The thing about these particular camps is that they are practically within a stone's throw of each other, and they're operated by different councils. Anyway, I'm positive that Camp Works will be able to turn them both around because Camp Works works miracles... (TM) OMG!!! Freakin' awesome.

OK. I'ma go ride TRAX now. I recommend that you read DEEP ECONOMY by Bill McKibben. It's an outstanding book. K BAI!

Did I have to? Nay. But I did…

And if I had the chance to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing. Big whoop! Wanna fight about it? I don’t even know, man. I mean, It’s like wrap up time in camp now. I love this place so much! It’s ridiculous, really.

It’s been a gr8 summer (<------ROOMIES!) full of learning and Olympics. Speaking of Olympics, I’m totally listening to Tegan & Sara right now. That’s right, the twin sisters that are both lesbians and came in concert with DC4C last May. “How do they have anything to do with the Olympics?” you might be wondering. Well, if there was an Olympic event for being one of the best, rockin’ bands in history, then Death Cab would def take one of the golds. If there was a gold (this is Bear, BTW------->) medal in being the best, hot Canadians that get teenage lesbians to come to your shows,
Tegan & Sara would take the gold.

I’m so impressed with the new DC4C album. That shouldn’t be really surprising, considering that they are amazing. I’ve also been really impressed with the new Coldplay album. I’ve gotta hand it to those guys, there long thoughts and hard work paid off.

The Sandlot is a superb movie and was (<---------these guys rocked!) filmed mostly in Ogden, Utah (thanks Bob Spencer for that tidbit).

I like the spirit of unity the Olympic games bring together (I love this picture!----->). Wouldn’t it be amazing if every nation could get together and peacefully chill all the time? Secondly, Celebrate What’s Right with the World!

And it’s soon back to Utah. To hopefullity of productivity. To word creationing. (<-----this one is entitled: "God Was.") I love the thought of being home. I hate the thought of leaving this place. I love the thought of growing. I hate the thought of depression and stagnation. I love the concept of control. I have it.

The Argentines are hand the Americans’ (I look like a fat man... who's having a rockin' time sailing!---------->) aces to them in volleyball. My friend, Kyle must be torn in two… really proud of one team, but at the same time ashamed of the other. And if the USA was winning, it’d be the same thing.

<---------------------I'm in defense mode for the small vagrants that wish to take this from me!

BEAR! What are you doing? Hop in your chopper, come pick me up, and we go to Vegas! I love you, bro!

Nang Sung & Wife. I love you two. Thanks for making my summer by bringing love to the island.

Mitch! Mario parties! (I'm sad that I'm leaving---------------------->)

Napkic! What is poetry? I’m excite to fly ‘round world with you… OMG!

Badwick? Are you dead?

Family! I love you! Quit breaking your bodies!

<------------Jordan Paul Holloman! I’ll see you later, bro!

The Origin of SHUMP!

Once upon a time, there was a 7th grader who was obsessed with chicken. This 7th grader had am obsessive history. He was known to make up words and phrases like "zoon... zinkeen bam" and "blah ja." He developed antics that would sometimes last for years. Relentlessly exploiting the annoyances of others and using them as tools of torture in his conquest to rule the world, he started with his dog, Tazzman. Whiskers were his thing... it made him yawn with unnervedness. He loved his dog.

This 7th grader woke up one morning and decided that he was going to be a 9th grader. Now a 9th grader, he took his knowledge of language and corrupted all that was therein good. First, he added an N to words and their syllabic rhythms that weren't supposed to be there. Second, that's it. That's all he did.

The concept is easy, really. Try it! Instead of saying, "Please pass the butter peas please," say, "pleaNse paNss theN buNtterN peaNs pleaNse." Some say it sounds like the Indian lady on Dances With Wolves (starring the greatest Nebraskian actor of all time, Kevin Costner). They're wrong. Absolutely wrong. It sounds nothing like that.

Here it is phonetically, "pleenz pants thun peenz pleenz."

"It works. It's hilarious. It's the creation of a genius mind!" said the 9th grader. So he started talking like this to his mother, sister, dad, dog, and friends. One of his friends took it to the limit with him. They lived on happy beaches.

One day, they were skippin’ home from school. They were talnking theirn newn languange, but then they got lazy. Their words started to slur together just like you can contract "do you know what I am saying?" into "'y'om sayin'?"

Just before they reached the rainbow tree, they got into a fight and punched each other. The 9th grader got so mad that he called upon his magic caterpillar to wrap his friend up in a cocoon of wrath. So he did. His friend was so mad that he pulled out his pocket knife and cut the cocoon apart.

He then said to the 9th grader, "In hante youn!"
The 9th grader shot back," Shunt unp!"
His friend replied, "Non! Youn shunt unp!"
The 9th grader would have none of this, "Non! Youn shunt unp!"

And so it went on...

"Non! Youn shunt unp!"
"Non! Youn shunt unp!"
"Non! Youn shunt unp!"
"Non! Youn shunt unp!"

And then they got lazy...

"Youn shunt unp!"
"Youn shunt unp!"
"Youn shunt unp!"
"Youn shunt unp!"
"Youn shunt unp!"

And then they got lazier...

"Shunt unp!"
"Shunt unp!"
"Shunt unp!"
"Shunt unp!"
"Shunt unp!"

And lazier...

"Shhun unp!"
"Shhun unp!"
"Shhun unp!"
"Shhun unp!"
"Shhun unp!"

Lazier...

"Shhu unp!"
"Shhu unp!"
"Shhu unp!"
"Shhu unp!"
"Shhu unp!"

L-A-Z-R

"Shhuunp!"
"Shhuunp!"
"Shhuunp!"
"Shhuunp!"
"Shhuunp!"

LZR...

"Shunp!"
"Shunp!"
"Shunp!"
"Shunp!"
"Shunp!"

UNTIL...

"ShuMp!"

Then they lolololol-ed all the way home.

THEn End (pincey fince)

Time for another* blogski? Yessum.

Life is going well out here.

Moving on…

I very excite to get my life back so I can start doing the fun things that camp has to offer. Uh… hold on a second. Alright, I’m back now. I had to… never mind. Why? Because it makes no nevermind to you. Last weekend was my cooking crew. We had a fudgin’ blast! Well, at least before we started cooking. Nah, I’m just playin, dawgs. I mean, it’s fun to cook and to cook thingsthat you enjoy to cook and that you enjoy eating and that you know others will enjoy eating, it can, however, be a touch stressful and time consuming. We made a delicious Creamy Pesto con Chicken over Cheese Ravioli/Tortellini (it looked like this, kind of). It rocked the world’s pants! We also made one of my favorite dishes tat my mom makes, Cavatinni (it looked nothing like three ice cream cones, but that’s the closest related picture I got when I googled “cavatinni”). Delicious! For lunch the next day, we made Yacht Clubs (this is an actual picture of the sandwiches we made under normal light conditions in the CCV kitchen).

It was good times. Prior to heading the best cooking crew/cooking experience ever, I sailboarded out to Bird Rock (I'm the one catching that sweet wave) and back with a CIT named Steven (he’s awesome!). It was one of the best times I’ve had out here. It’s times like those I learn to live again… there is so much potential for happiness in this world. I think I learn more and more about the matter every time I come out to good old CCV for the summer. I love it out here. I love the spirit of trustworthiness, loyalness, helpfulness, friendliness, courteousness, kindness, obedientness, cheerfulness, thriftiness, braveness, cleanness, and reverentness. It’s outstanding. I mean, look at this picture---->! If you don’t tear up at this one, you’re tear ducts must be malfunctioning.

I’m the mother flippin’…

Christmas in July is this weekend. Also, this weekend is the 3^rd bi-tri-semi annual Cherry Triathlon. Good times will be had by all. A’ight… I have to go eat lunch and then work on my internship paper, and if you truly think about it… “We’ve all been ground to sausages in Johnny Verbeck’s machine.” Till next time... K THX BAI!

*I think the word “another” is misleading. It should just be “a nother” or “an other”. I mean, c’mon.

Welcome Back, Jordan! Shiz...

(This BLOG was written like 3 weeks ago... yay for finally getting it posted!)

Here I go… here I go again on my own. This blog has been neglected to the max, and as a consequence (my market analyst tells me) readership is at an all time low. It’s tragic that the problem has even happened, but the healing will begin now… over the course of time. Let us heal. Together. One by one. Until there’s nay more malady in these neck of the woods. Not on my watch, I say!

K. Moving on. I’ll do my darnedest to update you on the month or so I kept you in the dark on. That was a wicked-sweet, preposition-packed sentence (purely improper, as far as English goes). A’ight, where was I?

Staff week was by far the hardest week of my life. I’d go as far as to say that staff week was the hardest week that anybody has ever had, and that anybody was me. OK, you know I’m joking, but seriously, it was fudging hard. I wasn’t nearly as prepared for camp this year as I was last year, and I definitely felt it. All in all, however, it was a very successful week, and we got a lot done. The thing that got me through staff week is the incredible staff we have here. It’s a very inspiring place where the spirit of service runs rampant all over everyone’s Fourth of July pie. Yeah, chew on that one for a while.

Week one was also terribly difficult, as well too. I don’t have any reasons in specific, as to why it was so difficult—that I think would be appropriate to share with the entire world (the target audience of this blog). Let’s just leave it at that. Sometime during either week one or staff week, our Ranger Joe was doing a routine fire system check in order to make sure everything was up to code. During the process, he discovered a little bird nest behind a fire bell. So, he did as any good ranger would do, he dropped them on the ground and left them for dead. Luckily, most of the staffers here actually have hearts and a couple of these said staffers picked up the nest and the birds and started to take care of them. Naturally, being an ornithologist at heart, I jumped right on the band wagon. The hope for their survival didn’t look too good seeing how the mother had left them (or so we thought…). We started nourishing them with really soggy oatmeal, watered down peanut butter, and even beggs (the eggs we get here at camp). After a week of steady feeding, it was apparent and hopeful that the birds were going to make it after all (except for Cory and Joe, who thrive on seeing the destruction of beautiful things). One day, I went out to feed them and they were gone. The End.

Yeah, Cory and I actually had a bet going on which involved one month’s rent as to whether the birds would die or fly away. We decided after much fruitless debate that the fate of the birds was UDIOS (undetermined due to interference of study).

Week two was freakin’ sweet. We had a really good group of scouts and adult leaders. There were also 100 less scouts than normal, so that made things run a bit smoother. I absolutely love this job. It’s taught me so much about life and how to live it. Good times. You know what else I love? More like who I love? My family. I love them. For those of you who aren’t in the loop, my mom is the best mom in the world. I’m sorry that she couldn’t be your mom, too, but she’s pretty much all mine. I mean, I share her with my sister… and her husband… and their kids… and her husband (my pops—also freakin’ incredible)… and Gumpy. I don’t see it as an “I get less of my mom because I have to share her with other people,” though, I think we all get pretty good benefits. And truly, I’m sorry that it sucks so bad that I don’t share her with you, but it’s kind of one of those “sucks to your asthmar” things. No hard feelings, right? K, cool.

It’s now week three and all is well. We’ve had a few issues here and there, but all is truly well. The CCV players are working on this year’s version of The Mariner’s Revenge Song. It’s going to be fantastic!

Are you getting tired of reading yet? I’m getting tired of writhing from being so tired of writing. Therefore, I’ll stop. But I recommend reading a good book. It’s called Seven Habits for Highly Effective People. It’s outstanding! Also, Oh! The Places You’ll Go. Great book! Praying—as I’ve relearned—is also a good thing. Tomorrow is hike day and won’t it be gr8!?!

Random tidbits and newsflashes:

• Since being here, I’ve caught two rattlesnakes. Snake catching is a rush.
• The new Coldplay album rocks (thanks Joe's girlfriend!).
• Dan Riley is getting married, and he’s still chillin’ wit G-Dub.
• The water here at camp is phenomenal.
• I play poker on Wednesday nights with both of my landlords.
• I’m going to Paris in October.
• Je parle français assez bien.
• I’ma be a rich man some day.
• I bought a Martin Backpacker.
• My hair is wicked long.
• I miss my nephew and niece and their parents and my parents and my dog.
• I miss my Pepper Pals, roommates, and friends back home.
• Ouija boards are not a portal to the “other side” and they are not “of the devil.”
• I’m tired now… so… uh… bye.

Staff Week Day #1 - 1 = 0.

(so long Mr. President Bush... I don't curr what they say, you're a swell guy)

If math is for schmoozers, then I'm a schmoozer. I love math. I love other things, too... in fact, I love some things so much, I'll tell you what those things schwas.

1. Good things
2. Family
3. Friends
4. Music
5. Feeling good
6. Self-control
7. Reading
8. Books
9. Food
10. Math
11. School
12. Learning
13. Sailing
14. Helping
15. Sleeping
16. Being awake
17. Being alive
18. Gunther
19. ROFLMAO-ing
20. Going to the bathroom
21. Being alone
22. Being around people
23. Being loved
24. Working hard
25. Hardly working
26. Dessert
27. Pillows
28. Numbers
29. Swimming
30. CCV
31. Showering
32. Root Beer
33. Root Beer in a chilled Pilsner Glass
34. Chicken Patty Sandwiches
35. Kayaking to Parson's
36. Nice people
37. Not sucky people
38. Getting cultured
39. Traveling
40. Myself

That's a list of 40 things... by no means is it a Top 40 list, else there would be some Mariah Carey hits somewhere on there. I need to eat and go now...

I am....

TIRED!!! LET ME SLEEP!!! OMG!!! NBD...

Other languages et merde!

Today, Cortney found a pair of Daisy Dukes. Who had the round bouncies enough to try them on? C'est moi. Yours truly. Ich bein. Ero. Hence, les pictures. Enjoy me and Cory enjoying our time out here. Funny thing. I texted to chacha (242242) a question of nothing short of junior high quality. I asked, “Is my friend Cory gay?” They responded, “Probably… I mean his name is Cory. Not even Corey. That’s a pretty dead giveaway.” I laughed. We laughed. We all laughed and laughed. As should you laugh. It’s a funny thing. Not even a “you had to be there” kind of funny thing. Also, sorry Mom and Dad if chacha is charging me for every question I ask and they answer. If they are in fact charging me, then they lied, and we can fight it. I have the text to prove it. A’ight. Now it's flight of the concords on Monte's iBook. That's a stellar piece of machinery. I mean, macs to me are usually somewhere between Play-Doh and used hypodermic needles. They’re fun, kid-like, and smell nice, but I really only use them if I absolutely have to (go fat PC guy!). Yeeeeah. We swam today. The water is marvinlouis. We’re also starting a carbonation bet at 12:00 midnight tonight. After midnight, no more carbonation. Loft: 10; Jordan: 0. K. Done! THINKS! (and for the record, I never really use used hypodermic needles... or new ones)

On my 23rd summer...

I am officially here, my home for the next two months and three weeks. It's nice to be. You know, here. The beauty about summer is that it offers even the oldest feeling people the chance to be young and/or do young things. Yes, indeed, I am here. I'm sleeping for the time being in the OASIS, which is nothing more than a collection of expired hot boxes assembled to form what is typically known as the "girls' quarters." I assure you there is a definite lack of estrogen as Monte Miller and I hold down the fort. You probably don't even know what I'm talking about. Well, worry not. My right toenail is misshapen on account of a previous stubbing of it against my apparently well-built CRATE amp. I feel the effects of my blunder now, which is why I warn you now. Watch your toes. Also, isn't it frakin' sweet that I'm getting 6 hours of college credit for this summer's work? Thank you. Thank you for silently agreeing with me. And yes I meant to say "frakin.'" The word is far underused or never. I'm working on isolating my creativity while Im out here. I wish to focus my energies into a single direction/goal... kind of like how Ryu or Ken (hence the term "RYUKEN" which is commonly sloppily slurred into "HADUKIN" or "ORIYUKEN" or "ORAIALSKIN") would focus a sh** ton of energy into a single ball of electrically hot fury and rage and destruction. Yeah. I would use my energies to make more of a fluffle delicious ball... like a marshmallow. I was once taught how marshmallows were made. THANKS NECSL! K THX BAI!

Off to the Isle of Love and Magical Loveness Magic...

Hark!  Hello, kids.  I'm heading out to Santa Catalina Island for another (my 8th, to be exact) summer of fun on this Saturday.  I promised a number of my friends that I would keep my blog up to date while I was away.  It's funny that friends would expect me to make such a promise.  I don't think that's a very friend-like thing to do.  I won't mention any names... you know who you are.  I won't mention any names, but I do expect compensation for my quiet keeping of this secret.  You may make payment in the form of money (of course), baked goods, magical fairy toenails, or money.  I haven't written anything for quite sometime.  I hope you know that I have blackmailing power.  I could write things about you.  I could write terrible things about you.  They would be terrible on a few levels, but I'll let you figure those out.

What am I even getting at?  I think I know what you're not telling me.  Your jumpy steps speak loudly and clearly.  And, fortunately, my Blogger now saves my drafts automatically!  This is a good thing and ensures that you will get to read my nonsense no matter what.  My dog Gunther is the best dog in the world.  I will stand and challenge anyone who wants to contend.  Merry tidings to ya'll.  I'm off to the ma'll.

This loife... a moighty thing.

So I chose Verdana as my font. So what? I really don't know wtf I am writing right now. To be honest, I just started this whole blog jazz because I wanted to practice my typing skills. So, how am I doing? You're answers will not give me a fair judgment of how well I'm doing. You have no idea it has taken me to write up unto this point. You will never know because I will never tell you.

So... changers. We all know them. But what can we do about them? Nothing. We're changers ourselves. It's OK, though. The only part that's crappy about this realization is that the efficacy of the "you've changed" card is pretty much nil. It's OK, though. There's no higher ground to stand than bottom of the pile. The enemy is you, as well. Give it up. OK.

So I didn't drive at all today. I didn't stay at home either. I took myself and my wicked facial hair to the places I needed to go by means of my feet. I also utilized the public transportation system. I worked. I made approx $11. I spent a good $35 after work. Thank good Hell for savings.

My style? Don't bog yourself down with it. You'll only bother your chi. A'int worth it. It just helps me practice. Don't comment back. This is for me. I'll drive away when I can. Ginger Ale, I love your skill. Take me to open fields. I'll ride back down. Sage and scented. I'm done with discontentedness. That's right. I'ms outski, dawg. Now, for the last time, will you please turn that damn thing off?